The Broader Idea of Happiness
Aloha mai kākou and good evening, everyone.
What an inspiring and beautiful night this is. Congratulations, seniors. Together, you are a stunning reflection of Punahou at its finest. Your graduation is so joyful that we wish we could stop the hands of time or at least slow them down. We know, of course, that we can’t do that, and it is the fleeting, ephemeral nature of this moment that makes us long for it.
Your parents wish they had more time to hug you, walk with you, and tell you what you mean to them. You wish you had more time to express the profound gratitude you feel, to visit those places that make you feel at home, to stand alongside those people who helped you grow to become yourself.
Amid all the changes, however, you can find joy and peace in a deeper view. This ceremony, after all, marks the culmination of years, even generations of love, compassion, and commitment by your parents, families, and closest friends.
It reflects the hopes and aspirations of your teachers, coaches, and mentors. It marks the growth of your own tremendous curiosity, creativity, and drive as well. While your time as a Punahou student is ending, all those things will endure, and you will carry them with you wherever you go and whatever you do. They will last a lifetime.
This moment also marks an exciting new beginning – that’s why we call it a Commencement. The era of the six-day cycle, the Dole Hall snack bar, and studying under a tent on the Academy quad is now officially over. The days of the SAT, the ACT, and P-R-O-M are now in your rear-view mirror.
After years of striving, you’re about to head off to college and embark on a new adventure. You’re probably feeling a mixture of emotions – wondering where to find that snow parka if you’re heading to colder climates, pondering whether you should invest in one of those little dorm refrigerators, and hoping your mom doesn’t embarrass you by trying to make your bed in front of your new roommate. It’s a lot to process. As your president, and as someone who spent a large part of his career as a college professor and dean, I’ll offer you a little advice on how to get off on the right foot.
First, take ownership of your education. At the age of 18, I am sure that you have already been asked countless times where you are going to college, what you are going to major in, and what career you are going to pursue. Some well-meaning folks have also certainly tried to give you that shiny, perfect key to unlock all the doors in a future of uncertainty. It’s artificial intelligence, or biomedical engineering, or interplanetary space travel – that’s the ticket for you.
Amid all the noise, take a few deep breaths and remember that you now have an incredible and precious opportunity. Over the next four years, free from the immediate pressures of a full-time job, raising kids, or paying a mortgage, you have the chance to read, think, and learn across a vast range of human knowledge and experience. So, you can and should explore. Some of you may have known since you were five years old that you want to be paleontologists, managerial accountants, or nuclear physicists, but if you’re honest about it I expect that many of you are undecided and not quite sure what you want to do with the rest of your life. That’s perfectly fine.
College isn’t only for figuring out what you’re good at. It’s a priceless opportunity to start discerning what you care about, what matters to you, and what you might be willing to commit yourself to. So, take some risks and try some courses in fields you are intrigued by but unfamiliar with. Study abroad in a foreign country, where you will encounter a different culture and look at your own society with fresh eyes.
Pursue that internship that allows you to meet smart people who can share their experiences and insights. Remember that your job ultimately is not just to learn how to make a living, although that’s obviously important. It’s also to learn how to make a life. As you go forward, search for the alignment of your great talents, your community’s pressing needs, and what you truly love to do. If you can do that, then you will, as Punahou’s mission statement puts it, define your “purpose and kuleana to Hawai‘i and the world.” As many of your classmates sang at their Japanese language graduation, “We will discover ourselves in the future. It might take some time. We will not give up. I promise we’ll be okay.”
You should also seek fulfillment in human relationships. As the New York University philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah writes, genuine happiness isn’t just about getting what you want, nor is it something that can be measured on a great yardstick of achievement or wealth. People who are happy are people who show up for other people, they lean into “the broader idea of happiness – less about what they have, more about what they give, who they’re with, what they’re a part of.” So, what does that mean for you?
The students who thrive most in college all have at least one sustained activity outside of class that they do with and for other people – something that builds and deepens friendships, gives them something to strive for, and provides an enduring sense of value. Loneliness and isolation, on the other hand, are profoundly debilitating.
So even as you throw yourselves into collegiate academics, remember to build the human ties that give you a sense of belonging, gratitude, and the chance to act with kindness. Whether you find that in athletics, theatre, music, dance, or volunteer work, the research is very clear. Pursuing meaningful relationships, especially those built on service to a cause larger than yourself, is the best way to a happy and fulfilling life.
Finally, carve out space in your lives for reflection, for moments in which you can consider the meaning of your experiences. So often we are on the clock, head down, stressed out, racing to finish that next assignment, when we badly need a long walk in the woods, a searching conversation with someone who knows us well, and the chance to consider what matters to us and why.
As a professor whose work I have long admired once put it, “Life is short: we only get to do it once.” While social media and Netflix might keep you fully distracted and entertained, if you can put down your phone you might find time to reflect on who you are and who you want to become. Better yet, pick up your phone and call your parents. They know you; they love you, and they will be excited to hear about your new world.
Thank you to all who made this joyful night possible. Mahalo to the Trustees who have joined this celebration, to our Academy Principal Gustavo Carrera, Junior School Principal Todd Chow-Hoy, our Chaplain George Scott, and your class Deans, Kellen Fletcher ’05 Garcia and Lori Komori ’91, for their compassionate guidance, care, and support of you all.
Mahalo to your teachers, who have been among your greatest champions – and many are here tonight to celebrate this moment with you. Mahalo to our brilliant choral director, Lauren Chang ’01 Williams, to our many wonderful parent volunteers, and to Lynn Kimura ’81 Kunishige, the amazing architect of this ceremony and a friend to so many of you.
To the Class of 2025, congratulations and thank you. I am in awe of what you have done, and even more impressed by the people you have become. You have made Punahou a better place, and I can’t wait to see what you do in the future.
We are very proud of you, we will miss you, and we hope you come back often. Aloha, and God bless you all.